Oh man, this spa is NOTHING like what was advertised in the brochures. When they said “quality service from hot young bachelors,” I had visions of beautiful hand models wearing speedos and serving me piña coladas during my different treatments. But I probably should have known that any resort that would cater to a lioness would be run by other lions… sigh, if I wanted a tongue bath from a prideful brute, I would have just stayed home with the hubby…
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At least your lion GIVES tongue-baths! Mine? Every 10 minutes, for 3 or 4 days, then it’s “Go get me a zebra, k?” And he’ll just fuss with his silly MANE while me n the girls go chase one down, then we give him first dibs on the good parts!
What’s a girl to do? We should… aw, no, here he comes again! Every 10 minutes until Thursday, and never once will he last long enough for ME – and no tongue bath.
“Hi, stud-muffin! Nice mane…”
Blegh! Simba! Please, no more eating the hyenas. Your breath could drop a water buffalo! I need fresh air
Thanks for helping me wash. I’ve been at it all for hours and my tongue’s gone all bleeyaggh.