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Nothin’ to see here, folks. Just an adorable little orangutan baby cuddling his blanke-WAIT A SECOND THAT’S ACTUALLY ONE OF THE CUTEST THINGS EVER!
Squee! Spotter: Unknown
Via: The Animal Blog
Don’t judge, y’all! Just accept that technology is amazing and let’s get on with it! My mom lives in a retirement zoo in New Jersey, and this is the easiest way for me and her to keep in touch. I mean, have you ever seen the way commuters stare at an orangutan driving on the Jersey turnpike? It’s not pretty. This is a vastly preferred alternative to making that trip every weekend!
Squee! Spotter: Unknown
Via: Lolcreatures
Oh, you think you’re cute, don’t you? Because you see, I told you to “put your money where your mouth is,” as in I was calling your bluff, and you decided to flip that idiom around and literalize it in order to juxtapose the money and my mouth. You’re clever. But seriously, all I want is that five-spot, bro. And your antics aren’t making me any less inclined to take it from you.
Via Flying Scotsman
… who’s the monkeyest girl of all? Is it you, or is it me? Or is it that strange red-haired human who keeps staring at me as though I’m her long-lost sibling?
No, seriously, I need your help on this one. Because the uncanny resemblance between me and this lady is kinda really freaking me out right now.
Via Reddit
Okay, so I’ll be the first to admit that my favorite stuffed animal is irrefutably NOT an orangutan of any sort.
… but it’s soft, and warm, and cuddly and friendly and it listens to me! And by proxy, I consider it to be my next of kin. Please to not judge me for my attachment to this composite of cuddles and felt?
Via All Creatures
No, seriously, HERE I AM LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I’M PRECARIOUSLY PRESSING MY FINGER CLOSE TO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE EYEBALL FOR NO REASON?
All I want you to do is pay attention to me for like TWO MINUTES. Is that really so much to ask? I was going to ask you out for coffee sometime next week, but you’re apparently too preoccupied with your own life to want to give me the time of day… so maybe I’ll retract that invite for a date. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT???
Source: The Star
Mission Log, Day 12:
I fear now that all hope for my survival is lost. I ate both of this vessel’s paddles in the hopes of nomming their potential termite inhabitants, but found nothing but splinters in my mouth. My arms are tired, the water smells like hippopotamus, and I would give absolutely anything to see my little Teresa once more. If this craft should sink before I am reunited with the rest of my orangutan brethren, I can only hope that my darling daughter is given the large, juicy papaya I buried under the trunk of our home tree as a souvenom to remember me by. … ugh, curses! All this talk of papayas has made me even hungrier…
Via Nothing to Do With Arbroath
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